Don’t be an ass

By Matthew Rowe

Picture the scene. A mangy, decrepit, hungry, exhausted ass (careful with that imagery) is dragging its sorry carcass along a dusty track.

via greg westfall @ Flickr

Suddenly, the ass espies a huge pile of grain on one side of the road. It can’t believe its eyes. Then it notices an equally large pile on the other. It nearly faints with excitement. It’s desperate for food.

But which pile does it choose?

Asses have little or no capacity to reason. And theoretically, given two perfectly equal and attractive choices, it is impossible for the ass to pick one or the other.

Instead, our poor ass, baffled, befuddled and confused, is torn between the two. It stands and stares – it cannot decide. Eventually the last lifeblood ebbs away and the ass collapses, a victim of logic.

A cheery tale.

But one that, in the midst of all the thinking, and case studies, and research, and complexities around word of mouth that we cover on the 1000heads blog, reminds us why we’re doing this in the first place.

The point being, if there was a discernable difference between the two piles, if one was more attractive than the other, the ass would have been fine. It would have been able to make an informed choice. As it was, the ass was akin to an ill-informed consumer, with no reason to choose one option over the other.

Of course, even without information, we (as consumers) are capable of making choices – we are not asses. But the more information we have, the more reason to choose one brand, product or service over another, the better.

And the more reasons there are to choose that particular brand, product or service, the more stimuli for word of mouth there are. And that is how information and recommendation are spread. That is how and why someone will choose your pile of grain over your competitors’.

Make your offering different. Generate word of mouth. Help people make a choice.

Don’t be an ass. Don’t treat your potential customers like asses, either.

  • Parsingphase - you're right, shameful and inappropriate exploitation of confused analogy. But, hey, we're all asses anyway. I'm sure Shakespeare said that somewhere. Or implied it.

    Rick - thanks. Although I'd recommend you don't say "I don't get paid to be average" so much. It's very David Brent.
  • I've often said, "I don't get paid to be average." I've even blogged about it: http://short.to/162dg. This little story, and your thoughts on the concept, are EXCELLENT! Business to business marcom practitioners will find increased success the more they differentiate the value & benefits their organization brings to their customers. Well done!
  • Except that what you're actually saying by "Help people make a choice" is "Do treat them like an Ass".

    Nice, and valid, article, but it does rather kick its own central metaphor in the donkey.
  • matthewrowe
    Think of it as a fable... I wasn't making a literal analogy. More a lead in to my point, or at worst a simile. I appreciate it doesn't hold tight as a metaphor but that wasn't what I was aiming for.
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